The Gift of Tradition

(ARA) - From the sugar-cookie-baking party at Grandma’s house to the way the ornaments adorn the tree, during the holidays many American families focus on tradition.

Traditions are most obvious during the holiday season, but our lives are interlaced with them - some big, some small; some special, some everyday; some old, some new. The one constant in traditions is the role parents play in passing them on.

“I was always aware of family traditions, but I didn’t really appreciate them until I became a parent,” admits Julie Jacobs of St. Mary’s, Ga., the mother of a 9-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. “All of a sudden, all of those little things my parents, mostly my mother, did for me and my brother and sister while we were growing up took on new importance. I suddenly appreciated those traditions and knew that I wanted the same thing for my children.”

Jacobs’ attitude is validated by the majority of Americans in a recent survey conducted by Modern Woodmen of America of Rock Island, Ill., a fraternal financial services organization. “According to our findings, 77 percent of Americans think it’s very important to pass family traditions on to the next generation,” says Modern Woodmen’s Sharon Snawerdt.

Why traditions are important

Traditions are a direct reflection of a family’s beliefs and values. A very meaningful tradition that Jacobs brought from her childhood is praying. “Prayers were very important while I was growing up. I am teaching my children several of the bedtime prayers that I said as a child,” she says. “They are also learning the table grace that my mother’s family says. When we gather with the extended family, my 9-year-old knows it and can say it with everyone else.”

Whose job is it, anyway?

Most families have caretakers of the traditions. According to survey results, gender and age play a role in determining who takes on the role. In most families, the responsibility falls on the capable shoulders of mom or another female relative. “Definitely, women take the initiative in traditions in most families,” says Meg Cox, author of “The New Book of New Family Traditions: How to Create Great Rituals for Holidays & Everydays.”

But there are some exceptions. “When a father, husband or grandfather is active in creating and keeping traditions, it often has a huge impact,” says Cox. “For example, I am one of four children. When I was growing up, my father would take one of us every Saturday as he ran errands. We didn’t care that we were going to the hardware store or to get the car fixed, the important thing was we were spending time with him. We’d always end the time together at the coffee shop where he’d buy us hot cocoa with whipped cream and a doughnut. He’d also take us to Woolworth’s dime store or wherever else we wanted to go to spend our month’s accumulation of allowance. For me, such a simple tradition that required very little effort from my father has made a lifetime memory. And I have met other men who are taking the time to do the same thing for their families.”

According to the Modern Woodmen survey, 42 percent of Americans said that a mother and father equally share the responsibility of passing down family traditions to the next generation, while 35 percent said the mother took care of this role. Those who said the mother was most likely to pass down traditions were typically female, while those who said both parents were involved were married males between the ages of 25 to 44.

Another interesting finding in the survey, the importance of passing family traditions seems to increase with age – 83 percent of Americans ages 55 to 64 thought it was important, versus 70 percent of respondents in the 25 to 34 age bracket.

Old traditions in today’s world

Regardless of who keeps the traditions, most families find that they must adapt beloved traditions to fit today’s lifestyle. Cox has found many families that use technology to solve problems such as time and distance. She cites an example of one family that was too spread out to get together for Thanksgiving.

“They couldn’t get together physically, but the weekend before Thanksgiving they have established a pie-making night,” she explains. “Each household uses Grandma’s recipe to make pies and Grandma calls each house at some point throughout the night. It’s a beautiful example of how you can adapt a tradition, as well as stay connected as a family.”

This holiday season, let these stories serve as the inspiration for starting holiday traditions of your own. Modern Woodmen’s mission is to improve the quality of life for its members and their families. The organization created a Web resource, www.gatherings.info, which offers tips to help plan gatherings and encourages traditions with immediate and extended family.

Courtesy of ARA Content