Think back to your BK time (Before Kids). What special ways did you treat yourself; give yourself a boost; vitalize yourself?

My daughter Ruby is 4 now and before she was twinkle in her Daddy’s eye, I’d think nothing of taking myself off for a Spa day or afternoon, whenever I felt I needed revitalizing. I’d swim, have a sauna, visit the steam room, have a couple of treatments…bliss!

Finding anything more than 7 minutes “me time” can sometimes be a challenge these days! And with Baby Flintoft due in Spring 2010, this isn’t likely to change!

What has changed are my priorities and also where I find my moments of vitalization. These days they’re small, cheap – but the biggest thing is, they cheer me up, give me a boost and allow me to continue dealing with all the busyness and whirlwind of life.

Here are some of mine:

Having an undisturbed bubbly bath
Reading a book for an hour in a quiet place
Painting my nails
Going to a friend’s house for coffee and a chat
Taking part in the Flintoft Friday Funtastic Fiesta (which is me, Ruby and Dave my husband, dancing and cooking in the kitchen Friday evening)
Enjoying a glass of wine with my husband and a sofa snuggle
If somebody had told me BK that this is where I’d get vitalized, I’d have laughed in their face (and perhaps been a little disheartened). But the fact of the matter is, they do fire me up! They do vitalize me!
That said, there are many things which completely drain me, too. Which zapp my energy, my motivation, my zest for life.

Here are some of my energy zappers:

Moaning, grumpy people (especially friends who only ever seem to see the black side of things)
Having no milk in the fridge first thing in the morning for my wake up coffee of the day
Constant clutter that seems to appear as quickly as I tidied it away
Wasting money on something I thought would help
Ruby interrupting when I’m on the phone or speaking with someone, even though she knows she shouldn’t
The space in the kitchen, which seems to diminish by the second
Sheesh, even writing that list I can feel myself getting tense!! I gotta shake that off!

Here’s a quick exercise for you to do, to ensure you get more vitalization in your day and less of the energy zappers.

Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. On the left hand side, write down all the things which vitalize you. On the right hand side, write down all the things which zapp you.

Hang the list somewhere where you can see it every day. Then, make a commitment to eliminating one zapp a week and doing at least two vitalizing activities. And, as you notice other things which have given you a boost, add those to the list so you can repeat them, too!

Enjoy your everyday vitalization!

“5 Steps for Working Moms to Break the Spell of Overwhelm and Guilt” http://www.successfulworkingmoms.com/

I came across this article and knew instantly that I needed to share it with my loyal readers and fellow mothers.  We’ve all had those days when we wonder if we’re going to make it to bedtime, let alone until our children are grown.  Those days when nothing seems to go right and everything seems to be going wrong.  Those days when you could have sworn that you had been teaching your children how to be kind and how to get along with others but all the seem to do is yell, and fight, and hurt each other any way they can.  And then that one little moment when you hear those precious words that remind you of why you wanted to be a mother in the first place.  You hear, “Mommy, I love you!”  And your heart melts all over again.  Here is one mom’s story:

“I saw her at the mall the other day. You know…the woman with perfectly coiffed hair, a size four waist, and clothes with labels that do not come from Target, Wal Mart or TJ Maxx. I couldn’t stop myself from staring as she browsed the housewares department with her kiddos all in a row. If I was a betting woman, I would say her nails had recently been manicured, her hair freshly blown-out and that her handbag cost more than we spend on groceries in a month (and with a family of six, that says something.) I allowed myself to get lost in the moment and travel to the land of “if only.” If only I made it a priority to get my hair done every month… If only I spent money on my clothes instead of on things for the house…If only I sucked it up and wore what looked great instead of what is most comfortable and most stain resistant…

I stood completely still, watching, for what seemed like hours. I couldn’t stop looking at her beautiful skin, perfect makeup, and fit body. She couldn’t be much younger than me, I mused. She had three kids trailing along behind her-behaving wonderfully, I might add-and yet she had it all together.

I had a silent debate with myself as I gawked at her. I bantered with my alter ego back and forth about what she was like; snobby, nice, shy, outgoing, caring, aloof. I made terrific assumptions about what her husband did for a living, what her house looked like, and in which neighborhood she lived. I imagined when she left she would drive off in a Mercedes or an Escalade. I watched her children follow her quietly; never once pinching, hitting or whining.

It was utterly fascinating.

The spell was broken when my daughter threw a hay-maker at my son and a full-blown wrestling match ensued. I pulled my gaze away to referee my children, administer the necessary threats to ensure good behavior (no candy at checkout and no Sprout television when we get home) and offer a hasty glance in the mirror at my stay-at-home mom’s uniform of knit pants, long-sleeved t-shirt, ponytail, and naked face. By the time I looked back in Super Mom’s direction, she was gone.

I couldn’t get her off my mind as I finished my shopping, corralled my children and headed for our minivan. I couldn’t help but wonder where she was headed; lunch with the girls, to the club for some tennis, or out to dinner with her husband while the kids stayed with a sitter-all things that rarely, if ever, happen in my day-to-day world.

As I was buckling what felt like a hundred seat belts and laying the ground rules for the drive home (sit quietly in your seat and keep your hands to yourselves), my son interrupted my spiel by calling out, “Mommy!” Still lost in my self-deprecating thoughts brought about by a woman whom I didn’t know, had never met and probably never would, I absentmindedly answered. “Yes?”

“I love you.”

And there it was: the only reassurance I needed that while I may not wear expensive clothes in single digit sizes, carry a bag that costs the same as our monthly mortgage, or live in a house with enough bathrooms for all of us to have our own, I am living the dream. My dream.

I have four beautiful, healthy children who think the sun rises and sets by me, a husband who works hard to provide for our family so that I can stay home with our babies, and peanut butter flavored kisses any time I want. What could be better than that?

Most days, I realize the awesome life I lead lovin’ on my family, working at my church, picking up toys, changing diapers, refereeing fights, cooking seventeen meals a day, and kissing away boo-boos! In my “free” time I blog about the craziness of this thing I call my life at http://www.mandypmommyof4.blogspot.com .”

It is very easy to get lost in the daily grind — especially if you have a family to take care of. The sad thing is, when you put everyone ahead of yourself, you are the one who ultimately suffers. If may not be apparent at first, but it begins to wear on you in many ways. Here is how to make sure you find some guilt-free personal time, just when you need it.

1. Schedule Yourself. You make a schedule for everyone else, schedule your “me” time too — and don’t waiver from it. Would you re-schedule your kid’s soccer game? Skip bathing your children? Refuse to help them with homework? Make your family skip dinner? Everyone else gets their time in, making sure you have your own time slot is just as important.

2. Make a Weekly Plan and Post it. If you don’t already write things in a daily/weekly planner, start doing it. Then, post a copy on the refrigerator for all to see. If you think your family will feel neglected if you take some time for yourself, write down everything you do during the week, and use highlighters to identify which time slots are dedicated to others. After you have highlighted the times you do things for everyone else, highlight what you have for your own time. If anyone complains, point them to the fridge for a peek. It is very obvious what’s fair and what’s not, when it’s in full color and all laid out for them.

3. Communicate. If you are overwhelmed at work, excessive about taking caring of others, or just plain abused by your good nature, it is possible that those in your circle don’t even know you are working on overload. Tell your family, friends and associates that you need time to yourself. They may not even realize you aren’t taking that time that you need.

4. Learn to Say “No”. This is something that is hard for a lot of big-hearted people. You have to learn how to say “no” when you really don’t want to do something. No one will think any less of you, and you will not allow people to take advantage of you this way.

5. Respect Yourself. You are just as important as those you take care of. If you don’t take care of yourself first, you will be no good to everyone else. For those you depend you you, you need to be happy, healthy and rested. This means you need personal time, whether you realize it or not.

Take these three steps and you will find yourself a much happier and content person. The best part is, when you are truly happy, it rubs off on everyone else.

C.D. Watson is the author of this article and provides free information on a variety of topics. She is an entrepreneur and has written several hundred articles in her areas of expertise and life experience. Visit http://www.everykindofmom.com and see how life, love and insanity can all come together!